


No Switching Sides

by XMurphamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Bellamy Blake, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Minor Bellamy Blake/Echo, Multi, Murphamy - Freeform, Pansexual John Murphy, Season/Series 05, spacekru era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:52:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XMurphamy/pseuds/XMurphamy
Summary: Murphy and the others survived Praimfiya thanks to Raven who launched them into space and back on the Ark. You'd think that would keep Murphy content for a while and it did for the first few years. However when Emori finally decided to leave him, he turned sour again. He excluded himself from the group and kept to himself. At least he tried. Bellamy refused to let his best friend do this to himself, which led him to consistently hunting him down hoping he could bring him back.(Inspired by Loyalty by Kendrick Lamar)





	No Switching Sides

Murphy’s knuckles bled down his fingers, as he continued to throw punches at the metal wall in front of him. The pain in his hands could never compare to the one in his chest. His stomach was still turning and he felt like he was going to throw up. His throat was closed up, making it harder to breathe.

He hasn’t felt like this since his mother’s death, he almost forgot what it felt like to be heartbroken. Now he wishes he was never reminded because he actually felt like his body was giving out.

He threw another punch, ignoring his own blood now decorating the wall like paint. He was trying hard to breathe but the more he thought about Emori, the harder it became. He had those last words she said to him engraved in his mind.

“You’re useless, we should’ve left you behind instead of Clarke.”

Murphy pressed his hand against his forehead. He turned his back and slid down the bloody wall. He let out a broken sob. He didn’t want to cry again. That’s all he’s been doing for a week and he’s tired of feeling this way but the pain was too immense to ignore.

“Murphy what the hell are you doing?” It was Bellamy.

He didn’t even bother looking up at him, he knew what was coming. A long lecture about loving himself, and getting over Emori. It became a routine for them.

“When will you stop this? It’s not healthy,” he says softly.

“I still don’t understand why you care so much.” responds but still not looking up at Bell.

Bellamy reaches out and cupped Murphy’s chin, forcing him to look up. He didn’t know what to say anymore, nothing seemed to help so he just looked into the other man’s eyes trying to understand. He thinks back to when he lost Gina. That day, he felt like the whole world stopped and he couldn’t get himself to move on. That must be how he feels right now.

“Don’t you have something better to be doing that isn’t babysitting me?” Murphy asked while jerking his face away from Bellamy’s hand.

“I’m just trying to help, I know what you’re going throu-” 

“Like you’ve been dumped…” Murphy sneered.

Bellamy sighed. 

“Maybe not dumped, but something along those lines.” his voice trailed off. 

Murphy finally realized who he was referring to and instantly felt horrible. He never really got to know Gina but he did see how broken Bellamy was after her murder. He always pictured Bellamy as a bachelor who would never settle down but when he did, that happiness was torn from him. Life really isn’t fair.

“I’m sorry Bell, I just need some time for myself,” Murphy whispered while looking down at the ground.

He pushed a thin strand of hair away from Murphy’s face, Bellamy gave him a soft smile knowing that he didn’t mean any harm. 

“I’m going to help you get through this, you don’t have to be alone.”

Murphy finally looked up to meet Bellamy’s gaze. He kept telling himself he wanted to be alone but deep down he knew that wasn’t true. 

“Tell you what, if you accept you can let your anger out on me instead of that poor wall.” 

They both laughed in unison. 

“I guess that wouldn’t be so bad,” Murphy replied, finally cracking a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was really short, I’m still trying to get back into the habit of writing. Hope you enjoy this angsty shit tho


End file.
